Complaints to Miss Piggy and the Three Little Pigs / Dora Leonor Mesa

Miss Piggy and "la rana Rene"

Dear Miss Piggy:

You are a superstar, but your public image may be damaged it you don’t control a little the horrid character and bad behavior of your family in Cuba. Your relatives on the island are very valuable and considerate, but that is not a reason for one of them to hit me on two occasions, while I was waiting for an Internet session at the United States Interest Section in Cuba. The only thing I did was to suggest that I did not think it right to grant a pardon to the five convicted of spying. Putting up with the attacks in silence is most prudent when they try to block a simple citizen like me from using the Internet. It’s accepted, even the threats disguised as a concern for my family, studying on-line at a university in the United States.

I’m not exaggerating when I tell you that your other family members are doing what they want. They make themselves at home anywhere. The Three Little Pigs have a new home near what was always the backyard of my house.

It’s actually an honor to personally meet the protagonists of children’s stories. However, Miss Piggy, you are famous for your femininity, generosity and good taste. When will you send the pigs perfumes and body wash? The piglets could bathe and so discover the brand of cosmetics you use. It’s never more than a little bit of Caribbean fame. If you choose to be discreet, they will surely accept Cartier, Chanel or another perfume.

Miss Piggy is a great pleasure to know that you will read this letter. Finally, I would like to ask at least for stickers and the discs of the Sesame Street educational series for young children we serve. You have many fans all over the world, so we ask you to include Cuban children. And please, do not forget to talk to their relatives. They are getting carried away.

I hope to have news of you soon (once we realize when the smell — of perfume! — invades the house). Be sure to give our love to Kermit the Frog, in Cuba we call him “la rana Rene.”

A thousand kisses,

Dora L. Mesa

P.S. Please do not ever use regular Cuban mail. Forget the postmark and all those trifles. They steal the parcels. Read the newspaper Granma (The letters to the editor section, March 16, 2012, page 11, printed edition). Also the letters never arrive or they’re left at the nice neighbors’ houses, who deliver them to us several hours later. If there is not a parcel-sending agency, we prefer to stick with the stench of your kin and avoid the gifts for young children.

March 20 2012