Fraud, It’s Olive Green / Juan Juan Almeida

On May 6 in Cuba the entrance exams for Higher Education began. That day the mathematics test was held.  After the conclusion of the test, information was received, through several avenues, about the leakage and knowledge of its contents for students from several high schools in the capital.

The curious thing is that now, after several days, the newspaper Granma says that it has been able to determine that unscrupulous people stole the exams and gave it to the students who obtained it through lucrative offers. So far there are three high school teachers  involved.

Why do they do it?  I don’t know; but I learned years ago that the child (generic) does more what he sees done, than what they tell him to do.

Translated by mlk.

22 May 2014

First Place in Stupidity / Juan Juan Almeida

In an interview given last week to the daily Juventud Rebelde, the minister Maria Esther Reus launched the very–in capital letters–absurd thesis that “the deficiencies in legal education are a problem now because there was never a need keep people informed about the laws that govern them.”

Truly, nothing can better illustrate for us the legal ineffectiveness of a system than the words of this minister of justice.  Or is it injustice?  And she said it without the least trace of shame.

Translated by mlk

20 May 2014

Total Abandonment / Juan Juan Almeida

Theodor Friedrich, the Cuban representative of the United Nations Organization for Food and Agriculture (FAO) who is participating these recent days in the second International Conference on Animal Health Surveillance which is being held in Havana, asserted to Prensa Latina that animal epidemiological surveillance is a topic that transcends the borders of isolated countries and congratulated Cuban authorities for their leading work in this area.

How nice, altruistic and caring that 116 delegates from 39 countries of the world meet in Havana to talk about animal health; but before arriving at the unreasonable conclusion, they should go out to the streets, immerse themselves among the people and enhance their view strolling through the city that has the most stray dogs in all of Latin America.  So, rather than health, they will talk about the absolute abandonment of animals.

Translated by mlk

9 May 2014

What Happened to the Cuban Cigar? / Juan Juan Almeida

The story goes that Cuban natives consumed tobacco long before the Genovese admiral Christopher Colombus landed on the island.

The studies and evidence show that our natives used it as a medicine, narcotic, aphrodisiac, and in religious rituals and celebrations.  They smoked it, breathing through the nose and even drank it in concoctions.

Rodriguo de Jerez was one of the sailors who arrived in the Americas with Colombus and returned to old Europe with the habit of smoking.  The Inquisition, after alleging that only the devil could concede to a man the power of taking smoking through the mouth, sentenced him to seven years in prison.

Nevertheless, the vice prevailed; tobacco became an industry, and although studies make clear that the plant has its origin in the Andean region between Peru and Ecuador, Cuban tobacco rapidly achieved the qualifier of “the best in the world.” And the term Havana appeared to conceptualize all the cigars where 100% of the product is cultivated and manufactured in Cuba after multiple and severe controls both at the level of agriculture and at the drying and twisting process. continue reading

It was 1800 and by then tobacco, like sugar, had fused with the history of our country; but the characteristics of the market and the pleasure of the smokers made the Havana, distinguished now by its provenance, start to be classified by the zone of the crop.  So emerged prestigious brands like Partagas, H Upmann, La Corona, Por Larranaga, El Figaro, and others until 1966 when Fidel Castro created Cohiba, the leading brand of Cuba, which carries his name thanks the suggestion of his then chief bodyguard, Chicho.

Cohiba not only is the name of the tobacco of the highest prestige in the world, it is also a commercial brand that moves political influences, traffics in power and manages millions of dollars. It is sold at astronomical prices and is consumed in every corner of this planet. The Rolls-Royce of tobaccos is a golden bubble where pleasure finds a select group of people who only have money and power in common.

Throughout all its history the leaves used to handmake the bast cigar in the world have been jealously chosen, and marketing specifies that they come from the five best meadows from the region of Vuelta Abajo, Pinar del Rio.

Inclement weather, the Special Period, lack of fertilizers, financial liquidity, the fight against smoking and other series of factors made Cuban tobacco production decline. As hard as they tried they could not meet the commitments or the claims of a market that demanded greater quantity and quality from our leading product. The Commander in Chief himself, who by then was also a microbiologist, ordered the use of an in vitro production technique that would guarantee massive quantities of tobacco plant starts with the same high levels of excellence; but obviously, the plan did not bear fruit.  And so we arrive, as always, at deception.

“The country of tobacco” clandestinely bought selections of leaves in Nicaragua and small quantities in Ecuador, countries where it is known that the tobacco plantations pass through a strict quality control with international standards. The quasi-contraband leaves were used for the manufacture of tobacco that was sold, and which was given to influential leaders. A real joke, “the best Havana in the world” without guarantee of origin.

Just the Cuban part of the joint venture Habanos S.A. can answer if this government scam persists. One more.

Translated by mlk.

13 May 2014

Napoleon and El Comandante, A Dangerous Fusion / Juan Juan Almeida

Latin Press reported that this coming July the XII International Congress of the Napoleonic Society will meet in our country.  So far delegates from several countries have confirmed their attendance.

The director of the Cuban Napoleonic Museum and organizer of the event, Dr. Sadys Sanchez, let loose her tongue, and after comparing Fidel with Napoleon, announced that the central theme of said event, “the Napoleonic revolutions around the world,” will prove how close we are to the ruler who sat down to eat with his troops; and will demonstrate that his conquests transcended geographic, military and political levels in order to surface in our culture.

Maybe I am a bit paranoid but this makes me think that this Napoleonic fair has a second purpose.  Luckily the newspaper also serves to clean the windows.

Translated by mlk.

16 May 2014

New Machine Without Production / Juan Juan Almeida

Cuban paradoxes. There is a new type of combine designed in Cuba and built in China being tried out in the cane fields in Las Tunas province, with a view to starting serious production starting next year.

The machine was created by technicians and specialists at the 60th Anniversary of the October Revolution factory, in Holguin.

So far everything is going smoothly, all that’s missing is the sugarcane.

14 May 2014

Throwing Out the Sofa* / Juan Juan Almeida

Guamajal-Hombre prison, in Santa Clara province, was put under quarantine because of several cases of dengue fever. The warden of the penitentiary has suspended family and conjugal visits. Undoubtedly they want total isolation so that the information does not get out.

The solution is evacuation because according to the inmates themselves, under the buildings there are piles of feces and urine, due to the old sewers which have never been repaired. This doesn’t matter because what’s important is comments and opinion; inmate health doesn’t matter at all. Excuse the obvious.

*Translator’s note: A common expression from an old Cuban joke, told briefly in the last paragraph here.

15 May 2014

Passports, They Can’t Or They Don’t Want To? / Juan Juan Almeida

Raonel Valdes Valhuerdis, the Cuban accused of carrying out the greatest gold theft in the history of Florida, arrived in the United States this Wednesday under extradition. Detained in Belize when he tried to cross the border on his way to Mexico.

What is striking is his name being on the lists of the most wanted criminals and although the Revolutionary government asserts it does not encourage criminals, at the time of his arrest, the bandit was carrying a Cuban passport in his name issued December 28, 2012 by the Office of Cuban Interests in Washington, two months after the fugitive committed the armed robbery in Miami.

It all seems to indicate, and the facts speak for themselves, that the Cuban consulate in Washington hinders the consular processing of normal citizens but readily accepts common criminals.

Translated by mlk.
8 May 2014

A New Festival in Santiago de Cuba / Juan Juan Almeida

May, the month of flowers.  In order to be in tune, and to pretend that everything runs smoothly and without bumps, cultivators and florists from Havana, Granma, Guantanamo and Santiago de Cuba participated this past weekend in the Festival of Flowers. According to what the press says, the objective of the event is to exchange experiences about the marketing and manufacture of flower arrangements. The newspaper report insists that the recently unveiled Festival of Flowers serves to show a new image of florists and to develop the culture of the use of flowers in society.

I don’t understand; for years they repeatedly nagged us that the culture of flowers was a bourgeois leftover and, to the contrary, flowers of yore are imported, beautiful for sure, but the price besides being prohibitive is in CUC.  Do not let yourselves be confused, such a Festival is to please someone. Palace whim.

Translated by mlk.

6 May 2014

The “Legal” Traffic of Cubans to the United States / Juan Juan Almeida

Survival, reproduction, adaptation; there are many circumstances that force us to emigrate. It’s not a new phenomenon, but rather a sort of endless cycle. The journey of sailor of sails to the Cape of Good Hope confident that every “so long,” in whatever form, will be his triumphant return.

We Cubans emigrate for political or economic interests, and/or for family reunification; but illegal migration from Cuba to the United States remains a growth industry, which although many know it, very few dare to comment, because they feel the pressure, or the prison, of their own complicity. continue reading

Dark,sounding hollow and smelling of cheese; but who doesn’t have a good friend, acquaintance or family member on the island who wants to emigrate.

It’s clear that there are migratory reforms between Washington and Havana. It’s also clear that the number of Cuban rafters has declined, and Cubans with a price who manage criminal organizations like Los Zetas, through Mexican territory toward the United States.

In fact today , there are only two extremes; those without resources, those who manage to float the dream with bow to la yuma (the US); and those on the other end of the food chain, who, with effort and ingenuity make it out on the news, get attention, and to wink at the so-called Talent Hunters.

The reality is that after the new Immigration Law passed, 11 October 2012, the proliferation of other less risky and more profitable ways is appreciable.

The level of desire remains, there are more who want to emigrate. Of course, popular discontent is growing, repressing is sharper than ever, the lack of work opportunities is a basic reality, the people who have been displaced from their jobs through the measures publicized by General Raul Castro, and those who before this process of massive expulsion lacked a job. All this has made emigration an important and significant source of income for the Cuban State, and an escape valve for the island’s government.

Changing the flight path, monopolizing the business and reducing the risk, raised the price of emigration  and hiding the illegal traces.

“Hard bread, sharp tooth.” This lucrative action contributes more economic force than does foreign investment, because it can count on potential customers with cash. It’s not just the persecuted who emigrate, it’s also the persecutor.

Of the approximately 10 thousand dollars a Cuban pays to leave Cuban territory for the United States, some 3 thousand end up in the government’s coffers.

It’s traffic, yes; but legal. Now buying a visa, although this comes like manna from heaven, awarded through non-legal channels, doesn’t constitute a crime. Then, a Cuban citizen arriving in the United States through a third country, is no longer Cuba’s responsibility.

On that point, the play is clever; but despite all the nooks and crannies it’s clear that in the largest of the Antilles there is no identification between legal international instruments regarding human trafficking,  and existing criminal laws.

5 May 2014

Applying Rouge in Puerto Padre / Juan Juan Almeida

According to the newspaper “Ahora,” Holguin authorities gathered at the Puerto Padre neighborhood to assess the urban revival project called “Identity and Development,” which is supposed to beautify the town for next July 26. As usual, applying rouge. continue reading

Local officials seem to be very excited; the people, not so much. The latter already know how these things work, and they say that the beneficiary, in quotes, is the same as always—the central Avenida Libertad—while the nearby streets will continue, forever and ever, without lighting, dirty, and full of potholes. The people call it “the Cuba wardrobe project: the ugly for Cubans, the pretty for foreigners.”

Translated by Tomás A.

2 May 2014

Enjoying May 1st in the Dominican Republic / Juan Juan Almeida

While thousands of Cubans are “voluntarily” required to participate in the pantomime of May 1st, Mariela Castro, the sexologist and director of the Cuban Sex Education center, presented today in the Dominican Republic the book she authored, What Happens To Us in Puberty? continue reading

The truth is that today May 1st is the day of acting cool.  Who does not know that in puberty what we get is what I need: hair.

Mariela says, although I don’t believer her at all, that that work has had a very good reception in our country.  I asked until I was tired, no one was familiar with the book in question.  I think that she goes on as usual, strolling and doing the work of the first lady.  And so that we don’t fall short, the Dominican Minister of Culture, deputy Minou Tavarez Mirabal, and the respective ambassadors from Cuba and Venezuela attended the book’s presentation.  A very crowded launch.

Translated by mlk.
1 May 2014

The May Parrot / Juan Juan Almeida

On April 28 the newspaper Granma published the plan for ensuring transportation to the International Workers’ Day parade in order to facilitate Cubans from various municipalities getting to the Plaza of the Revolution. All very spontaneous.

“A colorful parade, flavored with socialism, in which, formed into blocks, more than a million people participated, comprising everyone from Havanans to Palestinians. Hundreds of thousands of workers, employees, and students paraded with the colors of the Cuban flag, shouting slogans supporting the revolution, socialism, and the leadership of Fidel and Raul Castro.” OK, I’m not really a prophet, but those are the words, more or less, that are published every May 1st. A bunch of crap.

Translated by Tomás A.

29 April 2014

Raul Castro’s Black Glasses / Juan Juan Almeida

Although article 2.1 of the current Republic of Cuba Penal Code says, “Only acts expressly described as crimes in the law may be sanctioned…” doctrine inoculated for more than five decades managed to change in us the concept of Fatherland, Nation, State, Country and Revolution; this served as support for decreeing that whoever exercises the right to publicly criticize the ineffectiveness of the government will become, by conceptual association, an anti-patriotic activist who must be repressed.

Then, on establishing the word “Socialism” in the words of our Constitution, any different ideology or inclination was isolated to a dangerous anti-constitutional margin.

Cause and effect.  Today in Cuba, political prisoners are held incommunicado and sometimes, what’s more, deprived of the right to legal redress.  Such is the case with a young black Cuban, Juliet Michelena Diaz, who is in prison just for performing the innocuous work of independent citizen journalist, which permits us to observe reality and disturbs the clouded transparency of a governmental press; which although it may become strong with effort, will continue for some time to be rigid, controlled and censored.

The First Secretary of the Communist Party of Cuba lied supremely when at the closing of the 8th UNEAC (Cuban Artists and Writers Union) Meeting he said unabashedly and brazenly, “I am the absolute enemy of unanimity.”  Please, try that one on someone else.

Mister President forgets that his word may be command in the National Assembly, because it’s a political institution, but it should not be in trials or in courts. Nevertheless, based on honorable functions of watching over and protecting the citizenry, and sheltered behind the impudent excuse of maintaining the security of the people and public order, the Cuban authorities commit illegalities that allow them to prosecute, even using false accusations, not only people whom they wish to punish but also their relatives and friends.

Cuban shysters know well, they studied for this reason, that the guilt of a prisoner is personal and non-transferable and that under no circumstances should he be found guilty because of association, family relationship or heritage.  Even when dealing with an invented guilt as in the particular case of Lady in White Sonia Garro and her husband Ramon Alejandro Munoz, who have spent more than two years locked in prison with no one caring, and nothing happens.

Apparently, the General, like his brother Fidel, wears dark glasses in order to  protect himself from the sun and to keep blacks invisible.

I must clarify that with this writing I am not trying to be a judge or to promote a timely or opportunistic political crusade; I only want to make clear that while we move further from the majesty of the law, we will be permitting another “Don Juan de los Palotes” to keep distancing us from the road to democracy, respect and the real possibility of exercising of our full rights.

I apologize, I did not mention “Liberty” because even that is relative; and besides I am convinced that liberty will lose its value when it loses its obstacles.

Translated by mlk.

22 April 2014

Studying Medicine and Desecrating Tombs in Cuba / Juan Juan Almeida

Since 1948, when the UN decided to adopt the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, many organizations and activists of the world have hoisted that dignified flag confronting the daily violations of liberty, justice and peace that many people suffer for the simple fact of their human condition.

Unfortunately, in several corners of this jungle that we call Earth, human rights entered a dark period due to the infinite apathy of many of its residents.  Barbarity is like our daily bread, and that makes it more or less normal.

In my country, for example, the topic is always a subject of controversy and debate; but today, I will not make reference to the rights of the living; I will speak of those who no longer exist, of our forebears, who are not the monkey, the Ardipithecus or the Australopithcus; but my mother and your grandfather.

Skulls, teeth, tibias, ribs, femurs, mandibles, vertebrae, pelvises; it is all found at the cemetery gate.  The desecration of graves has gone from being a horrible act of vandalism to an almost daily event.

But, “why is the toti always saddled with the blame for everything*”; uninformed metaphorics and made up know-it-alls, instead of finding out at the time of judging, they launch the accusing roar towards the many practitioners of Afro-Cuban religions who make up our folklore and form part of our cultural heritage.

In Santeria and witchcraft there are very but very isolated rites that require a human skeleton; there also exist artisans who buy bones in order to construct objects with them that they sell for the price of gold; but the absolutely responsible party for this atrocity against our dear ones is, as always, the State.

Ad nauseum the thought is drilled into us that since 1959, the development of medicine has been the principal priority of the revolutionary government, and in fact, Cuba boasts the highest physician-inhabitant ratio in the world.  Thousands of doctors are graduated each year on the island, and I tell you, each of these students, without regard to race, color, sex, language or religion (come on, like human rights), receives a bag with a skull and parts of human skeletal remains that if insufficient to study anatomy, then they get a card that they present at Cuban cemeteries in order to exhume from among the graves without owners the remains of those who in life were relatives of the unnamed, emigrated and exiled dead.

In order to have a slight idea of the desecrated graves, we would have to compare the number of bags delivered with the gross rate of Cuban mortality which, according to the reference published by the UN and sent by Havana, was 7.6 in 2012.  The same year in which — according to the extensive editorial by the website Cubadebate — the largest of the Antilles Islands trained more than 11,000 new doctors, 5,315 Cubans and 5,694 from 59 countries.  Scary.  I do not favor statistics when I write, nevertheless the exception deserves it.

Just a day like today, April 7, but in 1985, one of the most renowned Cuban visual artists, Rene Portocarrero, died.  His remains . . . I do not want to even think where they might be.

*Translator’s note: In “good Cuban” the expression is: “porqué la culpa de todo, siempre la carga el totí.”  It means several things: that someone small always ends up being accused of what others did, or that the blame always falls on the same notorious people regardless or whether or not they were actually involved, and also, that black people always get blamed for things. The totí (a.k.a. Cuban Blackbird) is a small black bird from the Cuban countryside that is notorious for eating crops and other human foods.

Translated by mlk.

10 April 2014